Last year, the Manna From My Father’s Hand blog began with a series about my earthly father’s story (which was the inspiration for the blog in many ways). In episode six, I mentioned a time when my father had said something like “Can we have LIGHT?” one morning shortly before he passed away. At the time, I had hoped to go into the topic more fully at a later date. Now, that time has come;).
Light and Dark
Staying up in his house alone (in MA), while he was in the hospital and rehab for the two weeks before he passed away, taught me a lot about light and dark. He had lived alone for years, and was a bit eccentric for sure. Since his house was fairly remote, without street lights or neighbors shining excess light into his windows, his house was very dark at night. Apparently, he was quite set in his ways, and likely had early morning routines in which he would let the natural light in, and then in the evenings, would wind his day down as the sun set and the natural light waned. Surely that would serve to be a healthy and good sleep habit.
The weeks that I spent there were quite emotionally and spiritually charged for me personally, as it was one of the hardest seasons of my life, watching my father gradually fade away from his former vigor and strength.
Profound Darkness
My preference is always to keep the room as dark as possible at night, since it does help with getting a good night’s sleep…. So, during that stay, I’d shut off all the lights at night, and a little battery operated lantern would provide enough light to navigate the house if I needed to get around for any reason.
One night, I remember noting how very dark it was, probably darker physically than anything I’d ever experienced. It struck me that when I opened my eyes, it was actually darker with my eyes OPEN then when they were shut. Weird.
So, that little lantern helped me get around, and my phone’s light could help me manage too. Also, my watch has a tiny green light that can be switched on to show the time when lights are low. It struck me that even in that profound darkness, often the only light I’d need to navigate my way through the house was that tiny bit from my watch.
It brought to mind a couple of things. First, that Jesus calls Himself the Light of the World, and second, that there is so much profound and deep spiritual darkness in the world in recent years. In John 1:4-5 (I typically use the NIV, but for this particular verse, the ESV expresses my point more clearly), speaking of Jesus, it says “In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” It was not lost on me that even the tiniest bit of light (like from my watch) can and will dispel the darkness. That darkness has no power to snuff out the light, but the light’s very existence does away with the darkness. Surely Jesus’ light shines more strongly than any other. At the same time, He can use even the littlest glimmers of light that He has placed in the hearts of His children to dispel the darkness that pervades our spiritual surroundings.
The Light Within You
In Ephesians 1:18-19a, Paul speaks of his prayer for the believers in Ephesus. “I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.”
In my semi-dream state last night/early this morning, that passage and another came to mind… The next one is from when Jesus was speaking of the light within us. It seems a bit cryptic, and also profound in some ways. In Matthew 6:22-23, He says: “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”
He then goes into talking about not being possible to serve both God and money, etc. Yes, seeking after anything in place of God is idolatrous, and we must have a single focus on serving Him. I’ve often wondered if that also spoke of the hearts of those He saw around Him in leadership (Pharisees, etc.), whose spiritual “eyes” (in other words, their ability to have discernment and know the best way spiritually) were supposedly “sound” and healthy. In reality, however, their hearts were full of darkness, corruption and judgment based on THEIR thoughts, which they SAID was the way to be spiritually right before God. He was confronting that continually. We also need to have the wisdom and insight to confront that, not only in things of this WORLD that call evil good and good evil, but also in the Church, as well as in our own hearts (it’s likely of even MORE importance in the latter two areas).
So many in the (Western) Church are professing various things as “light” that are far from the truth of Christ. Dear Lord, please enlighten our eyes so that we can see You clearly and follow after You daily! We will stumble and fall if we are walking around a pitch black house without the light of Christ shining and showing us the way. Praise Him for giving us “eyes to see”, by His Holy Spirit.
Let There Be Light
Getting back to my father’s story prior to his passing away (and here’s a link to that earlier blog post if you want to check that whole thing out). Quickly, it was during the couple of days at the end of his life, when my sister and I were sleeping on chairs, window seats or finally a couple of mattresses laid on the floor over night by his bedside. It was a comical and incredibly memorable time for us both. One morning at about 5 AM, he suddenly burst out saying loudly something like “Can we have LIGHT?”
I had tried closing the door to the room over night to help us get some sleep, since in a rehab facility, the lights are always on in the hallways…. So I quickly went to open the door and let some light in. That statement is what caused all of the thought processes about light and darkness, especially after having experienced the profound darkness in his house, and his routine of letting in the light in the morning.
My ultimate prayer for my father is that before he died, he said those words to JESUS, and that the Lord showed him the true Light of the World, Himself.
You Are the Way
A couple of songs on my CDs have centered on the theme of “Light”. One beautiful song, written by my husband, is on the Painter of the Heavens CD (which is available through a wonderful ministry called Loving Grace Ministries, and you can click here to link directly to the CD). It’s called “Beautiful Light”.
Another song, called “You are the Way” is on one of my CDs that my father loved very much, and his caregiver would often play it for him in the evenings (thank the Lord for her!) I pray that as he listened to that CD, the words sank deeply into his heart, drawing him to Jesus day by day.
The music at the end of the podcast associated with this blog (linked below) will include some of that song, and I’ll link URLs also where you can purchase that tangible CD and/or listen to or download the song. I pray that the lyrics will minister to your heart.
John 14:5-7 (NIV) says: “Thomas said to him, ‘Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?’
Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.'”
Let us continually fix our eyes on Jesus, since He is the image of the Father, and as we’ve been exploring in church in recent weeks, Hebrews 1:3a says “The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.”
Praying that He will allow His Light to shine brightly IN and THROUGH you to a world (and sometimes even church) wandering and stumbling in dense and profound spiritual darkness.
Associated Podcast:
Links and other information from the Podcast
Songs mentioned in this podcast:
“Beautiful Light” from the Painter of the Heavens CD, available through Loving Grace Ministries
https://www.lovinggrace.org
Here is a direct link to the CD page:
https://www.shiningriver.com/p
“You Are the Way” from the Fill This Temple CD, available at:
https://shiningriver.company.site/Fill-This-Temple-CD-Lisa-Prokopowitz-p524246283
You Are the Way is also available for digital download at most digital music platforms.
Apple Music direct link:
https://music.apple.com/us/album/fill-this-temple/491767081
Or search your favorite music download platform for “Fill This Temple” by Lisa Prokopowitz.